by Jannika Forester
"Roger was buying an expensive bracelet to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweler's shop in town. The jeweler inquired, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?' Roger thought for a moment, grinned, and then answered, 'No, instead engrave "To my one and only love".
'The jeweler smiled and said, 'Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.' Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, 'Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.'
Be cognizant young lovers, Valentine’s Day 2013 is around the corner and love is in the air. Now I know what you all are thinking, “Valentine’s Day was created by Hallmark and corporate America to spur consumer spending through the catalyst of spurned affections. It’s criminal entrapment!” How now, Chilly Corpse of Cupid, is that an icebox where your heart used to be, like so much Omarion? There is much more to Valentine’s Day than meets the eye. It is a feeling that dwells within the cockles of our hearts, maybe the sub- cockles…possibly the amygdala, but it is definitely palpable.
Little known fact, the day is named after a handful of early Christian martyrs named Saint Valentine, and was established by Pope Gelasius I in 496 AD., two hundred years after one Saint Valentine, this one was a bishop of Rome, attempted to convert the Roman Emperor, and was therefore stoned and beaten with clubs. However, thanks to Geoffery Chaucer and the romantic temperament of the high Middle Ages, the power of love overcame religious difference and courtly love flourished for some time despite Shakespeare’s Hamlet, in which Hamlet indirectly caused his Facebook –status complicated girlfriend Ophelia’s suicide by mentioning Valentine’s Day, albeit in an overtly sexual, harassing way. Valentine’s Day was deleted from the General Roman Calendar of saints in 1969 by Pope Paul VI because he was a witheringly affectionless miser, or so we heard. He could have been Team Ophelia, but I guess we will never know. However, I can’t shake the feeling that if we listened to him, the romantic illusions of an entire generation would still be intact and Cory and Topanga would have never broken up that Valentine’s Day in 1998 after Cory cheated.
Anywhooo, in summary, Valentine’s Day is the day to revolt against the establishment by loving harder than any other of the 364 days of the year. Like the Beastie Boys said, you gotta fight for your right to get funky ladies and gents... amirite? All the candies, cards, pink Champaign, and sexy outfits just make Valentine’s Day more palatable to our
Speaking of sexy outfits, whether you’re staying in with your intimate companion or busting out with the girls for an anti-Valentine’s club crawl, we have some haute to add that little extra something to really make that outfitsizzle, whether you’re earning your wings or breaking hearts. You’ll fall deeply in love with our darling tiaras, silky satin gloves, cupid costumes, sumptuous corsets and more, for a fun and festive Valentine’s celebration!
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